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451 A man in a hurry taking his 8­‐year­‐old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. "Uh­‐oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!" the man said. "It's okay, Dad" the boy said. "The police car right behind us did the same thing."

452 Did you hear about the new Barbie Doll they are making? It's called "Divorced Barbie". She comes with all of Ken's things.

453 Three men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

454 i went to the doctors the other day and [whilst raising my hand in the air] i say "doctor it hurts when i do this" the doctor replies "Well dont do it then"

455 Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asked the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replied, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old." "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard answered, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."

456 two nuns walked into a building.......... you would have thought thay would have seen it!!

457 Big Diet ­‐well here's your plain popcorn, no salt, no butter. ­‐Sounds good, it'll go great with my plain salt, no popcorn, no butter and my plain butter, no salt, no popcorn.

458 One day little Johnny was in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decided to investigate. "Whatcha doin?" he asked. "My goldfish died and I'm burying him," Johnny replied. "That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your cat!"

459 Did you hear what happened to the hyena who swallowed an Oxo cube? He became a laughing stock ...

460 Went to the doctor and he told me i would have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life. He only gave me 4????