Jokes

Jokes


Page 1

381 A polar bear goes into a bar and says to the barman "Could I have a pint of beer and ................................................ a packet of crisps please?". The barman says "Certainly ­‐ what's with the enormous paws (pause)?"

382 What do you call a cow that eats grass? A lawn moo­‐er

383 2 robbers went 2 the gates of heven an angle said god there is 2 robbers at the gates god said let them in so the angle went 2 let them in he came running in and said "they're gone,they're gone,"god:who the robbers no the gates!!

384 Q: Why don't anteaters get sick? A: Because they're full of antibodies.

385 A Texan is bragging, as usual: "You know," he says, "I can get in my Cadillac at 7 a.m., drive all day long and still be on my property." "Yes," replies his listener, "I had a car like that once."

386 A man walks into a bar and hears someone say, "Hey, you look NICE today!!!" He turns aroud and asks the bartender, "Who said that?" The bartender answers, "The peanuts... they're COMPLEMENTARY!!!"

387 Two sheep were standing on a hillside in Scotland, one looks up and says "baaaaaaaaaa..." The other says, "Bloody hell, I was gonna say that!"

388 Q­‐When's the best time to have a tooth pulled? A­‐ Tooth­‐Hurty

389 A man walks into a pub, goes up to the bar "Pint of best" he says to the bar man. Whilst waiting for his drink he notices that Vincent Van Gogh is sitting at one of the tables He goes up to him and says "Are you Vincent Van Gogh?" "Yes" the old man replies. "do you want a pint Vincent?" "No, ta. I've got one `ere."

390 A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, it's my birthday! How about a free drink?" The bartender says, "Sure pal, the toilet's down the hall."